Dolphins.....

It's official!
I got a job.

I am a 3rd grade teacher at Daybreak Elementary.
Jordan District.
Track B.

I start July 27th.
Pinch me.

a weird spring indeed.

I haven't been blogging....lurking some....but not commenting.
I think I will participate again.

It's been a weird couple of months.
Starting with my sadness.
I had to pull myself up by the proverbial "boot strap" and finish my program.

Big life changing events have been happening........on very regular days.

I went to Mexico with 23 people that I had intermittantly spent the year with.

I had a curious time....pretending I was young and in college again. Learning about a culture that I really did not know.

I went to catholic mass and to a few bars. I visited a small Mexican village, with kind and loving families.......who had nothing, except happy lives.

I learned of the Lady of Guadalupe - The virgin Mary who visited the Mexican people. Many indigenous peoplebelieve she came to their land in a vision and is their protector -"their mother".

I was touched by this beautiful story It was told to me while standing on the grounds of the Basillica in Mexico City.

I flew home after a week of intense travel, tired of roommates and itineraies, and cranked out my very last week of homework.

On graduation day, Thursday April 28th....

I drove Ryan to the airport on a plane bound for Turkey.
Antalya Turkey.....where he played wheelchair tennis for the United States Junior team.

In typical teenage style, it became too much of a nuisance to communicate with his U.S bound parents - so we relied on the reporters.

Apparently, he made quite an impression (while losing) giving the U.S. team a lot to cheer about. He played Iraq, Japan, and other worldly teams. He stayed at a resort on the banks of the Mediteranean Sea.

He ate "whatever" with his meal card.

He rode a camel and watched belly dancing.
In Turkey. Antalya Turkey.

(Meanwhile, the same afternoon that I dropped Ryan off; I did not have time to enter the airport and see to it that he boarded the plane, I just wheeled him over to the baggage guy and said "have fun".)

I was off to present my final portfolio to my professors and eat my graduation dinner.

I needed to hurry to Westminster, or I'd be late.
I did well on my final presentation and then attended my honorary dinner until 7:30, at which time the rest of my cohort was meeting again for a celebration "bash" at someone's home.

I had to "bow out" and re-enter my other life that was waiting for me at Annie's preschool performance.(It really did start at 8:00 pm!)

I dropped my son at the airport, graduated with my Masters degree, attended my last preschool performance and then went to Shivers.....all in a weird and eventful day.

Suddenly, I was back, no longer a student and home again....a mom, with no typing and no class.

The disappearing stress was so welcome.

The fog of the last year started to thin, allowing me to see that Isaac lived with "other people", and that I had forgotten how to cook, and that I had large piles of crap - everywhere, and that Olivia and Annie had missed me.

I actually went to one of Samson's baseball games and watched t.v.

I relaxed and enjoyed my solace from responsibility and schoolwork.

A few day's later, Wayne's grandma died.

We all knew she would, sometime, at the age of 96. But well, it was still nostalgic and weird, and the end of an era. She will be missed and remembered.

We planned to attend her funeral in St. Louis, which was delayed almost 21/2 weeks after her passing. (they did keep her cold)

We flew with the help and blessing of Wayne's parents.

At check in, we noticed that all seven of our seats were scattered around the plane, and we were all, you guessed it, occupying middle seats.

We immediately called the airlines to explain our need to stay together as a family unit.

They showed us, and obliged us not!

We all sat separate, in the middle of "whoever", and ate our peanuts alone.

Except for Annie, who is four, and needed her mother to ask the nice gentleman who had scored a window seat to "trade" me for my nice squooshy middle seat, so my child could sit with me. He glared and succumbed.

Upon return, and intermittently during my May sabaticle, I had jolts of remembrance that I had gone to school for a reason.

I needed to start applying for my job.

Now, I don't remember what it is like to have a job, and I certainly don't remember what it is like to look for one.

And, as I will try and illustrate, I absolutely don't remember how to interview for one.

I do however, know how to put together a nice Principal packet, which has landed me several of said interviews.......of which I am trying to be "eternally grateful".

Let's just say........I'm Sarah Palin, talking to Katie Couric, only fatter and with less make-up.

The stuff that comes out of my mouth (or doesn't, as I've been answerless - twice) is so embarrassing - I can't stand it!!!!

I'm taking a break.....from looking, and I'm going to visit my sister in Spokane.
Sheesh.

I don't know if I'll get a job right now (this summer, or winter)....and I am okay with it.....except, every evening I research interview questions, talk to myself in the car.....outloud, and I can't sleep.

In other news........
My sister and wonderful friend are moving.

Jamie comes to visit once or twice a week.

With her, she brings her basketfull of kittens, ie. E, M, and GQ. My kids scream with delight and head straight to grandma's to maul, pet, and caress the little darlings. They love them. There presence and visit's will be surely missed. Quite frankly, none of us can stand it.

In a couple of weeks, I will be the last surviving WAGS that has stayed in salty town. Who would have thunk.

My friend Alana is moving too. She has a gigantic heart. She is good to everyone. She is a forever friend. She just had a baby boy, and has three beautiful girls who I have "playgrouped with" for years. Our neighborhood is "rocked" to the core.

She is moving to Seattle at the end of the summer. Quite frankly, none of us can stand it.

I took my girls to swimming lessons today, it was so darn cold we ran to the car, turned on the heat and headed for home.

Just a "regular" summer day.....just like my spring.

Ryan's news.......

Again!
http://www.sltrib.com/ci_14794010

I told him his "Bragadocio" might need to be toned down a notch.
He said he likes being awesome.

okay!

Class yesterday....

So, I have a few things to do before I gradutate. One being, going to Mexico for a week. I was going to opt out of this part of the program if "my first choice" would have taken hold, but well, I'm back in. Yesterday we had 6 hours of class. Dutifully my professors loaded on a bunch more homework.

AAAAAAAHHHH! April is starting to feel like November.

moving.....

Two things happened in my moving forward week.
First, I was forced to attend Horizonte', this week as part of one of my last classes. I went kicking and screaming and feeling sorry for myself.

(When I arrived, I swear i spotted "my babies daddy" times ten.)

This school is an aternative high school in Salt Lake district. The student population consists of babies having babies (I saw a 12 year old) (I thought about posting a flyer). Babies that have become mothers, who are tending their babies while thay continue on in high school. 7-11th gaders who "may have had, done, or knew about a lot of bad stuff. Finally, adults who are trying to improve their lives and find a way to survive in this complicated place called the USA. I had the opportunity to observe and tutor in an adult, level 2 (not very high) adult ELL class. There where people represented from at least 10 different countries.
I don't know why but it spoke to me. I could do this. I would like to do this. I find real value in doing this.
One man, was so humble, and appreciative as we practiced writing a capital A. I felt a new focus maybe coming on. I bonded.( I cried several times during my stay, not specifically about my babe, but about the situations of so many)I really might consider working at this school in a few years.

Thing two:
I freakin (I hate that word) but I freakin, worked on my final homework project for at least 10 hours today. I have written nothing since she left. It felt so good. I am going to do this thing. In one month I will graduate - with a Masters degree.

I can feel myself coming back. My little Annie calls me mother all day - never mom, or mommy, but a formal mother - i love it.
I need to shift my direction and direct my mind where it needs to go. I am feeling better.
I have asked for pictures of Mia. I need pictures - just to see her. I am pulling to find all the beauty and blessings that I know I already have.

It is all getting better.

The call came today......

Mia will be staying with her birthfather.
I have been struggling for two weeks.
I'm really glad I have those two weeks under my belt.
They were horrible.
I am more than sad.
Heartbroken.
I really loved her.
So did Wayne and the kids.
I loved that the kids loved her.
Grandma did too.
So did my sisters.
Grandma had a special sleeping spot for her.
Grandy came helped us for three weeks.
Wayne was so good to me.
Through the whole thing.
I've wanted another baby for awhile.
I don't know why.
I just have. thats it. I just have.
It doesn't make much sense, I know.
I could go into my 3 years of trying.
But I won't.
We met Emilee.
We prayed about what to do.
She arrived.
Then I couldn't imagine anything more perfect.
Than keeping her here with us.
It isn't to be.
I have prayed that Heavenly Father will watch over her.
He will.
In my heart, I'll never give up.
In my life, I have to get better and move forward.
I have so many blessings.
And children.
They need me.
I'll be crying for several days.
And then I hope to start feeling better.
And be happy.
I will.
Thank you.
For Everything.
The thoughts.
The dinners.
The prayers.
The phone calls and emails and gifts. (I always said no gifts - he he)
The all around love and support.
I think - you may have loved her a little too.
Thank you.
So much.
With.
Love.
Libbi